Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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National security?

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops