What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

Female Athletics

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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