There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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A black man killed someone

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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