A man walks into a bar.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Asians...

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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