What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Global Warming.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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your fat

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops