Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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62

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Carlton

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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AND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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