"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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A black man killed someone

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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