Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is not funny Bad jokes!????

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops