How many mathematicians does it take to count?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops