Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Click here to end the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops