What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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