Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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