How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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