Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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b

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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