What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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I walk into a bar...

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops