What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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A man walks into a bar.

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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A scottish man having fun

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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George W. Bush

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Dallas Cowboys

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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