Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops