What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

but there is a road to the super market

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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