What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -1

wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

thumb_up thumb_down -3

45.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm Spartacus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops