So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

1+1= 69

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black man killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Lockerbie bombing

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops