Your mom.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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