there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What do I hate? people

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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