What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What is the difference?

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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