Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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