One time at band camp.............that's it........

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

dallen loves penis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three baby seals walk into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops