Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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