A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

thumb_up thumb_down -1

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops