Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

thumb_up thumb_down -25

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops