A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Black people.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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