what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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