Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops