Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

thumb_up thumb_down -9

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops