Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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One time i was sitting down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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