There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Ehh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops