Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops