Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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