How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops