What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops