Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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