Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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