How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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