Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Your mom is so old she died

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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