Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Women's rights.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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