Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops