What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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womens rights

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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