Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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a man was shot.... he died

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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