What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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womens rights.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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