Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops