(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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salad days!

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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