An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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68

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops