roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Poker face

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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