Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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