what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

http://adf.ly/C8MqG

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops