What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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NEVER

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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