What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

No your aunties a joke

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

How do you drown a fish? You don't...

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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