A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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