Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

ever tried african food? they neither

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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