Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

Hey how is your wife and my kids

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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