How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops