drugs.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

the sky is green no it is not

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

Pianos.

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

How High is a Chinese man

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...