I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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