- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

why dont they make black forks

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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