A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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