A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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pudding

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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anti jokes are for fags

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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what's white and sticky semen

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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pull my finger (farts)

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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