You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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