A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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silver bullet?

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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