Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops