why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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