What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops