What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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