Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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whats black and strange a paki

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops