Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Duck walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +1

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops