Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Burp

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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