people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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