How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops