About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops