A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jovan

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops