How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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No your aunties a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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