I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops