Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops