- Anti Joke

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

knock knock who's there ... 'Opens the door slowly SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

knock knock who's there ... 'Opens the door slowly SUPRISE BUTT SEX!