A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops