Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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