Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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