What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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