Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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