Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops