Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops