Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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