How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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