A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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