Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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