What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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