There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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#Getweird

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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one stop shop

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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