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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

The New York Giants

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Whose your daddy? Not me

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

CFL

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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