Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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9/11

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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