Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops