What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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