What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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