Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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