How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Beka has AIDS

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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