Sir, your wife is dead

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

Jordan is pregant

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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