I'm Spartacus

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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