Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

Anti - Jokes. com

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

Sixty... eight

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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