A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where would canada be without nature? still here

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops