Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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No soup for you!

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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