I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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