Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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