How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

j.p. is dumb

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Pickles are moist.

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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