I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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what is 3+3= 8

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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