How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Ehh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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