Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops