Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

I asked her where you were.

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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