A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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