You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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silver bullet?

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Women's Rights

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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