"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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GOODBYE

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops