Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

whats green and lives in the water

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

Obama lin Baden.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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