A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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