Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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69

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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