One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

One time i was sitting down

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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