Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops