what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ehh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How High is a Chinese man

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops