Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops