Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

David Cameron

[Insert anti-joke here]

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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