Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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