So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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