How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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