What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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time to spruce up!

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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9/11

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Where's the soap?

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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