Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops