A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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mark is religion

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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