Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Blacks

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops