Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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