Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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