why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Ily bae

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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