If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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there was once a jew

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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