You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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