What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

what is 3+3= 8

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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