What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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there was once a jew

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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