Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops