Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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