Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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