Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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27

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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