Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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