A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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The cream, it is coming

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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