Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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