How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Cheese

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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