Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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test

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops