What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Matthew Baker

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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