How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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