Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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