What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops