does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

You: A man is riding his motorcycle down a mountain road when he wipes out. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monks "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll be happy to pay for the room." The monk says "It's alright, you may stay here the night while you heal." That night, the monk brings the man to a room and says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He ignores it and sleeps on, but is obviously curious. The next day the monk says "I think it would be best for you to stay here another night. Your leg is very injured." The man says "Alright," and he spends another night. Before he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. there is a knock at the door. This time, he answers to door. There is a monk on the other side. The monk says nothing and turns around. The man follows him and the monk walks to the second floor of the monastery and walks into room, closing the door behind him. The man tries to open the door but finds that it is locked, so he goes back to his room and goes to bed. The next day he asks the monk "What is in that room?" the monk says "I told you not to answer the door," the man says "I was curious. What is in that room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become a monk." So the man leaves, but he cannot stop obsessing about that room. Over the next year he loses his job, his wife leaves him and all his friends stop talking to him, because all he can think about is what is behind this door. Exactly one year later he is riding his motorcycle along that same mountain road, and he purposefully wipes out in the same place. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monk "I have to know, what is behind that door?" The monk says "I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk." The man says "Fine." The man goes to leave, but the monk insists he spend the night, as his leg is hurt once again. When he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will come and knock on your door. Do not answer it." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He answers it, and a monk is there. The monk says nothing, turns around and walks away. The man follows the monk. The monk moves up to the second floor of the monastery, and goes into a room. The man tries to slip in behind the man, but is a second too late. He tries to open the door but finds it locked, so he goes downstairs and goes back to bed. The next day he goes to the monk and says "What is in that room?" The monk says "I told you not to answer the door." The man says "I know, but I was curious. What is in the room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become the monk." The man says "Fine," and leaves. Over the next year, he commits himself to becoming a monk. He learns all the lessons of the monastery and returns one year later to the monastery. He says to the monk "I have become a monk, and I want to join this monastery. Now, what is behind that door?" The monk brings the man to the room and opens the door, and he cannot believe his eyes. Friend: What was behind the door? You: I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk. (Thank you Sarah Seguin)

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

9/11.

anti-joke teehee

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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