How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Asians...

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

Rick Perry.

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

45.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

9/11.

What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

Where does a hobo live? A box.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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