Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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noodles

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops