An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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youre gay

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Lacrosse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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