Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Popsicles

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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