the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

A black guy walks in to a bar.

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

why did the chicken cross the road

BIG PENIS

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

your moms so fat she has kankles

The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

NEVER

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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