What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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