What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

So a seal walks into a club...

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

What's big and black? A black fridge.

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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