Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +49

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +27

nathan palmer has a big head !

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

to see a bad joke look above

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops