A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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Female Athletics

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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