I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black person in the NHL

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

thumb_up thumb_down

Let's write an anti-joke. K.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -22

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

who farted i did :]

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops