What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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I'm Spartacus

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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