What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops