Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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dildo

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noodles

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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