how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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Winking at old people

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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your mom

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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