A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +41

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Potato salad

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +27

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops