whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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black

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I love you.

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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