how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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noodles

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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no

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Popsicles

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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