What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Winking at old people

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops