An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

thumb_up thumb_down -71

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops