Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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...Jack Vale

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Kenny G

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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