What didn't last long? You in the bed

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Female Athletics

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops