There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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