To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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dildo

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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youre gay

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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