What do you call two dog? dogs

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

your mom was so fat that she died.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...