Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +19

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops