jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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the economy.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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