What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Boob

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops