what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down -28

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -28

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops