There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Take part of what?

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I woke up today

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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