roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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watch me nae nae

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops