whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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