Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What is the difference?

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops