"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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