A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops