Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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9/11

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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