What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops