Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down

I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

thumb_up thumb_down

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops