What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Your girlfriend.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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dry handjob

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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