Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Knock Knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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