What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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