Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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