q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops