- Anti Joke

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

whats green and slimy? green slim

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

24 Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.