Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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your face

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops