When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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kathryn atkins

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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