How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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meatspin.fr

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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