What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the power to turn magnetism into light

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -22

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops