A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Hey

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Cripples are lame.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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