What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops