A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sixty... eight

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

thumb_up thumb_down

24

thumb_up thumb_down

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

thumb_up thumb_down

A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down

How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops