A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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