Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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the economy.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops