What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops