- Anti Joke

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

People...

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

Matt is a Duster!

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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