A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Women's Rights...

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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Benevolent villain.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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