What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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youre gay

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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