Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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balls in ya mouf

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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France never surrender.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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