Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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NEVER

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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A man walks into a bar.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Asians...

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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A joke

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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