Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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the cow goes moo

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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NEVER

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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