Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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I got shot, you laughed

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Laura Pratz..

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Rick Perry.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Female Athletics

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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