What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Chuck Norris died.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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France never surrender.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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