i have aids and a chode

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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your fat

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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make me a sandwich!

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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I'm Spartacus

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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