Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

87

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what rhymes with sloth? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

An Amish walks into Best Buy

thumb_up thumb_down -68

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -82

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops