How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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A fish walks into a bar

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops