We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -10

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

thumb_up thumb_down +77

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops