George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walked into a bar and said ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops