Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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8=>

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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BIG PENIS

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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