Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

Dani Barton = Stupid

knock knock go away

A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

Global Warming.

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

What's in there? Get outta there...

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

Female Athletics

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

You.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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