Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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wat?

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Liars go to hell! -God

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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87

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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