Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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women's rights

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Global Warming.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops