What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

thumb_up thumb_down

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm Spartacus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops