What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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45.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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what color is blue? green

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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