What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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The Mets win the World Series

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You.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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