A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two Jews walk in a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops