Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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A joke

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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your fat

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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