What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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