Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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45.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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mitt romney

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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