A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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what color is blue? green

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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