Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Chuck Norris died.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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apple pie.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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