What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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I got shot, you laughed

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Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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