Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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