Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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apple pie.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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45.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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P0P T4Rt

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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