Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -81

the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops