Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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theres a fat guy

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Women rights..

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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