Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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noodles

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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45.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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I'm Spartacus

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wat?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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