What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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I like your hair

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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women's rights

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Global Warming.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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