how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

thumb_up thumb_down -93

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -135

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Ben is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops