How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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womens rights

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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