What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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NEVER

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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