What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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dildo

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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9/11.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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