What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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hi bye

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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9/11.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Women's rights.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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