Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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BIG PENIS

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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11111

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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