While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

thumb_up thumb_down +76

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops