Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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