How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your fat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -80

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

thumb_up thumb_down -94

youre gay

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops