So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Womens Sports

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

thumb_up thumb_down -8

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops