guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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noodles

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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hi bye

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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