- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

What's funny? Women's rights.

womens rights

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

I like your hair

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

Female Athletics

Global Warming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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