A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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what color is blue? green

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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