Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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The Mets win the World Series

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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hi bye

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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