What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Chuck Norris died.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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