How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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