Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

This site is hilarious oh wait...

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

I like boys!!!!! CC

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

What didn't last long? You in the bed

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

A dwarf walks under a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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