How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jews who wear penny loafers...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops