What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

Two Jews walk in a bar...

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

I am the sun. You are the moon.

What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...