Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Penis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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