Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Rick Perry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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