A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

Magic Johnson has AIDS

Your mom.

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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