I like your hair

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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I'm Spartacus

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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