How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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Female Athletics

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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