How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -115

what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

thumb_up thumb_down -139

what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Where does a hobo live? A box.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops