How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Female Athletics

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops