I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like your hair

thumb_up thumb_down +5

2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops