I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Women's Rights...

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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