Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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