What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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9/11.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Ben is gay

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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