What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

Rick Perry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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