Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

thumb_up thumb_down +85

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +49

69

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Like my status for a tbh?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops