What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

The Mets win the World Series

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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