Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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