Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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The Bible

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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