So this blonde walks into a library.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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