Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Mets win the World Series

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +1

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops