Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Winking at old people

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Penis.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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