Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

mitt romney

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

What's big and black? A black fridge.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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