why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who just made fun of katie matt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man without problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops