What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Kim Kardashian.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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My life

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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