What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Penis.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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who just made fun of katie matt

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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I Love Hitler.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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