what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

who just made fun of katie matt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops