What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -49

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops