You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +39

This site is hilarious oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +27

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops