How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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