Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

The

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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