What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Lacrosse

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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your fat

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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