How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -7

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats 9 + 10 19

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops