what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Your mom.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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