How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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My life

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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