What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops