Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +85

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a black guy with rights in 1924

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops