What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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