Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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My life

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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