Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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