Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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