Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

What's brown? My toilet hahaha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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