I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

Sarah Palin

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

11111

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

Ben is gay

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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