The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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