Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My nipple is bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops