How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Popsicles

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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The.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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