what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

thumb_up thumb_down -49

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops