How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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make me a sandwich!

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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wanna hear a joke? no

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Popsicles

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Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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