What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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