Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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mitt romney

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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I can't see my forehead

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Penis.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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