A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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The.

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Lacrosse

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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