why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

How Long is a Chinese man.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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