Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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make me a sandwich!

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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