How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yah? Well your a ********

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who just made fun of katie matt

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My nipple is bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops