What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who just made fun of katie matt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops