make me a sandwich!

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Popsicles

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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