What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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French people.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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My nipple is bleeding

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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