Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops