How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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