A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops