Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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