How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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