What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I am the sun. You are the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -67

mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +100

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops