I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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what color is blue? green

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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