How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

How Long is a Chinese man.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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