Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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theres a fat guy

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Women's rights.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Kim Kardashian.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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