how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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9/11.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Five guys one rape.

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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